Game Show

The applause crested as Abe Bludtyke sprinted onstage.

“Thank you. Welcome to this week’s ‘That’s Not A Vampire,’” Bludtyke yelped to more frenzied clapping.

“Quiet down. Let’s meet our two contestants. First, Opie Stive. Opie?”

“Ready to sink my teeth into the show, Abe,” the paler than pale Opie crowed.

“Thank you, Opie, and don’t call me Abe. Now, Bea Possdev.”

“You’re first,” an even paler Bea murmured.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.”

Bea leapt over her podium, pounced on a flailing Bludtyke, and sank her suddenly-long incisors into his neck.

“Commercial! Go to commercial! Now!” Bludtyke screamed.